It looks fine, but not amazing. Here's what I would be inclined to try:
- The star texture in the bottom of the header image looks a bit crap. It gives me an immediate impression of low-effort cheapness, and it's clearly avoidable because the stars don't look like that in the screenshots. Sorry if that sounds a bit harsh, I think the game art looks really nice, but the header is not representing it well.
- I'm not really a fan of the stars as a background of the page. If you could have stars in the header that matched the background, so that it looked like the ships were fighting on the page, that might elevate it, otherwise I think they are kind of distracting.
- The text feels a bit cluttered. A bit of colour in the headers and the bolded text, and a bit of space between the bullet points, would make it more readable I think.
Does your game have any sort of story/narrative? If so you should definitely mention it.
Your trailer could be improved by cutting together action from lots of different battles, rather than showing a single battle in its entirety. That would make it a lot more exciting, I think.
I don't really have an opinion on when to start charging, sorry!