Hey, I noticed you wrote that you were interested in constructive criticism in the end-notes, so I jotted down some thoughts about the text. (See pastebin link). I scribbled my feedback pretty quickly, so there's some misspellings and such, but I hope you understand the intent behind my feedback.
Good luck with the continuation of the story. :)
Woo! Yes! Thank you for the generous feedback!
I'm glad that you made time to analized my writing very carefully and to clarify some of your questions,
In my country Michael is actually sometimes used as names for females and is pronounced as Meeka-el and the male version is Mikel
And yeap I knew someone would get lost in my wordings as I am mainly influenced by much older texts and odd vocabulary, but there is a reason why the timing and memory isn't chronological as you would likely see in future updates. :3
But I do agree on most parts as I tend to make clunky writing.
And don't worry, as I am vigorously working on improving it and getting back my previous skills since I stopped writing nearly 4 years ago due to work and generally experiencing my first years of being an adult and out of school. That or the toxic work :/
