Haha, I've been doing exactly that for the past 3 years. I scavenged YouTube to every nugget of game design theory. It wasn't until earlier this year that I decided to actually start learning an engine.
Even though my progress is somewhat decent, there are so many traps in life that can simply kill progress. Devtober for me is mostly about getting those things in check so that not matter what, I can continually make tiny tiny steps forward.
Best of luck with your journey!