How to start story with pamela??
If pamela is the thief (grey haired) woman then you need to have the law to sexually punish women.
You have a random encounter with her when starting a new day (very random, so you have more time if you try before the war).
I don't know if you need to be nice or not to her, but after a few times you unlock her story. If you make her pay a fine, then you won't block her story but it won't count. Just keep punishing her sexually.