Honestly, I thought this was a cool concept. The awkward controls are the whole point here, after all, so I think it's fair. Having to split your attention between the controls on the left and the gameplay on the right makes for an interesting challenge. The juddery movement, the beeps and boops, and the control arrangement reminded me of those old LCD games from way back in the day.
It took me a moment to realise that I was supposed to hold down the directional buttons, not click on them repeatedly. Mashing didn't work since the movement didn't always register, but click-and-hold did work. Maybe that was tripping up some of the other reviewers?
I like what you've done with the graphics. Going from the monochromatic cave to the technicolor rave was cool.