I just came up with this one and added it to our website...
The Light Inside Us is a unique action/strategy shooter about power and the responsibility that comes with it
Would love some feedback and advice
Viewing post in Pitch your game: "One line to lure them all"!
The word "unique" doesn't add anything to this. Everything is unique. Why is it unique?
From the perspective of wanting to know in one line what the game is, I would add minimalist graphics and isometric.
As a YouTuber, if this was in my inbox, "isometric" probably would've made me less interested to be honest. That said, when I actually clicked the link to check it out, it does seem interesting..interesting enough I'd like to give it a shot and maybe make a video of it. I don't see anything about price or downloads? You should at least mention that there isn't a way to get it yet if there isn't.
Those are good points. Unique doesn't necessarily convey anything. The main thing I wanted to get across was that the game is very different from other shooters, but I'm pretty sure quite a few other games are the same.
Minimal and isometric are also terms I was considering, since people who've seen it have drawn comparisons to Rymdkapsel in terms of art style. I'm not too sure about mentioning release status or pricing in the one-liner though. Wouldn't that come either in the email subject line like, 'The Light Inside Us-Preview' or in the description?