you have to take a break at the track. If you STILL can only find bandits that means ur in the tutorial or haven't done much of the story. If this is true for you just progress a bit in the Bandits' Camp questline and you should be good. Hayden's bathhouse and Harold's bar are in bareshade so you should have em available if ur not in the tutorial
Gunnar or "Cocky Guard" isn't a bandit. You encounter him by taking a break at the track. As for your lewd fame not going down, yea that shouldn't be happening. Perhaps it's bugged going from what ur saying. If you wanna lower it still despite the game not letting you you could use saveeditonline.com to edit the fame on ur save