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(5 edits)

Text based means there would be barely any picture, and what you're making seems more like a visual novel kind of thing. So i think you should not use that "text based" tag as it is misleading.

I liked the nurse tan marks on a rather pale skin, that's a nice touch, but maybe make her untaned skin less pale because no skin is labcoat white. I mean if not for the labcoat it would be fine, so an alternative could be for the nurse to have a light pink outfit or another pastel color.

Maybe don't have the grandmother wink when she leaves early on, that's a bit weird.

Description of the MC's mother's house by Anna is beyhond mecanical, maybe flesh out the description of each room.

Supposedly the MC would have his father's last name, so the mother of his mother would have a different last name. Hence she wouldn't be called Miss Smith during the talk between her and the doctor. Or the MC wouldn't be called Eric Smith.

There is a timeframe during the first morning you spend at your mother's house in wich the MC supposedly talk to Anna, but Lilly is displayed instead. Maybe that's something you should correct.

Owner of Sofia's coffe says her name is Sofia, but the displayed name is Emma. Guess that's a small mistake.

In most tales cuming in a succubus => instant death

In some tales (including the bible) half angels are called nephelims and are more akin to demons than to angels. According to those tales angels were not supposed to fuck humans and god didn't like having his plan screwed up. Funilly enought this was written in the old testament, before God was considered an all knowing all able being. The make up for that ended up being "He knew and at some point the fallen watchers and nephelims will have some use.". Just saying if you want to incorporate more religious background in your projects. I saw you made your own universe religion background and that's totaly fine too. It might actually be better that way.

Finally your english is a bit approximative. Don't get me wrong, you're good enought for comprehension not to be an issue. But sometimes it feels like you're trolling and it could get on some people nerves, so maybe have your texts proofreaded. It would increase the global quality of your work and allow you to avoid mean comments wich may be detrimental to your wish to keep going. You may even find volonteers willing to help you with that for free if your game is good other than that.

Wow what an informative and good comment I will look in to all of it. The universe thing with religion is more than the bible. In Version 2 you will meet japanese neko, viking valkyre and more. Bit of a spoiler there on my part sorry. The coming in a succubus intant death for a human yes. But a demigud? thats why I thought it would be okey. Many thanks for your pointers. 

(3 edits)

I agree, there is a lot more religions than catholicism to explore.To answer your argument about demi gods, well... Gods vary in terms of power.

There were kami of the mountain and such in Japan, and other "deus loci" that some would consider to be barely spirits in other places. Japan and Romania comes to my mind, but pretty much every country that at some point had a religion based on chamanism, so pretty much everywhere if i had to guess.

Then there are monotheist gods all over the globe at one point or another in history. First i know of is zoroastrism's god in Iran, 9 centuries before Christ, that's supposed to be all potent... Before that there was Aton in Egypt, more than a millenia ago, but it was mostly a sun god even if he was supposed to be all potent, well more like any other cult was prohibited i guess...

Yaweh, the judaist god - or it's origin at least- is also attested around one millenia ago, but he was a god among several others at that time, polytheist religion, not a monotheist one. He was kind of like Zeus or Odin, being king of the gods... I hope jews won't hate me for that. But hey, you could say Yaweh is also the origin for the christian god and muslim god too... And now i made a large portion of the world population hate my guts...

So gods varying in power between "mere spirit" and all mighty beings, i guess the power of their offspring woud vary too. Depends who the mythic parent of the MC would be. Could also depends on the MCs specific stats Given that...

Beats me about demi-god honnestly... If you take those from ancien Greece they were considered mortals and could die from a sword slash or arrow. So i guess succubi - plural form of succubus - would make short work of them. But then with the kid of an all mighty god it might be different.

Then once again you made things your own sauce and that's great, so feel free to set your own lore. So a demi god surviving an encounter with a succubus? Sure. I mean if you wanted even a human could. Or the succubus maybe need to activate a skill to feed and kill, or maybe she drains power, but not enought for the character to mind, or... Really that's up to you ^^'

In any case the start of your story seems nice.

Deam, you really know your stuff. I already have an idea of who the parent will be but will not spoil that. I sat until 2 am your input really helped. Thank you.

You know what they say, "Knowledge is like underwear, it's usefull to have it, but not necessary to show it off." I guess that makes me a slut of some sort.
Glad i could be of assistance anyway.

i do believe (depends on the texts you are reading i suppose) all nephilims  are in fact demons not simply akin to them.

the princes of hell are fallen angels and their army of demons are their nephilim offspring. 

in fact some angels fell specifically for the crime  of creating these abominations (nephilims).

True and very informitive. Thank ypu for your comment.

Yeah, the watchers, or Grigoris if you'd like, are the angels you probably think about. But their crime was more trading their knowledge for wifes according to the bible. Or was it some apocryphal texts? The crime was supposedly not so much the creation of Nephelims though, as far as i recall, than the fact of dumping tons of knowledge at a time instead of teaching humanity bit by bit as their duty was supposed to be. They were supposed to be humanity's spiritual guides, but chose to get laid and become "kings" instead

I understand where you're coming from with "nephelims are demons" although i disagree.
The closest translation to Nephelim would be "giants" because those described in the texts were supposeddly bigger, stronger, etc... during their life as mortals. While demons are supposed to go to hell the texts i refer to say there is literraly no place for the nephelim's souls to go to, wich leads to the theory they stay among the living after death and cause various cases of possession. Wich in turn leads to the theory they are actually demons... But then if they'd be demons they'd go to hell, so they wouldn't stay on earth after their death, and because of that they wouldn't cause possessions... Wich kind of debunks the theory about them being demons.

Nephilim are mostly seen as abominations because they were not part of "God"s plan. Now the old bearded man is supposed to be all knowing - at least nowadays he is supposed to. How comes he didn't see that one coming? Or Lucifer betrayal for that matter... And that reaction of not putting nephelims in hell or any other place is definitely a childish "Nope, they don't exist, i don't see them." Funilly enought that's that very behavior the all knowing entity is supposed to be having toward them that gives the nephelims their power. When they're closed he looks the other way around... or that's how i understand things at least.

I'd say the dude that Jesus supposedly met who said his name was Legion may have been a dead nephelim possessing some random and not a demon.

Nephelims are an interresting topic i'd say, but let's not spam this game page with theological debate unrelated to it. Nothing says the author will even mention them ^^'

I'd invite you to PM me, but there is no such feature on itch as far as i'm aware of.

the general idea is nothing was unforeseen it was all a part of the plan even lucifer's' "betrayal"  (although lucifer is kind of one of many mistranslation's made throughout christianity's history) 

in the religion god created angels as he did everything in creation but only mankind was given free will so only mankind was, is and forever will be able to defy his wishes everything else in creation does as he commands or plans for them to do 

so in the case of lucifer's betrayal for example lucifer had no choice he was created to one day betray god and be punished for it then cast out to hell to punish sinners for eternity 

nephilim may have a close translation to giant but my reference to them being demons  isn't about the meaning of the word nephilim it's about the roll they served after their creation 

i also refer to lucifer being a mistranslation because one the guy that did the translation said he translated it wrong he translated a word written in hebrew to english not by literally translating it from hebrew to english but by translating a latin word that was similar to english

gods most loyal angel that judges mortals after death and punishes the wicked on god's behalf is a falling angel named sameal who was never cast out and still resides in the highest kingdoms of heaven

such a waste of time for someone that has no faith in religion to talk about these things as if they are real

I could create an comunity page on itch. With a tab for people to whrite about what they think I will putt in the game. 

could be a good idea but in my case i just like to randomly discuss topics even if its something like religion or demonology neither of which i have faith in but i find it all an interesting story/fantasy to learn about or discuss....


or troll people about on youtube

Well okej.  But I will look into the community page idea.  Maybe someone will be happy it's there. ;)