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I tried clearing my cookies, tried clearing my cache, tried using a VPN, nothing worked. WTF is this developer using to store data? Why don't I know about it? Why is chrome so opaque when it comes to these things?

I'm using something called "LocalStorage". And I completely understand what you mean, it's not obvious what to do. So, I just added a new version that lets you restart your progress by doing "shift+R"!

(+2)

I kept trying to clear my local storage and refreshed the page afterwards but it just kept resetting back I don't know why

Also, I played for an hour and I have a few complaints - When you max out the prestige upgrades, they all say recycle in the prestige menu. Secondly, I find completing the game to be dissatisfying. You shouldn't have removed the magic orbs, and when near completion I expect the progression curve to increase tremendously until you reach infinity, then the player is satisfied and will leave the game with a smile on his face. 

Thirdly, the player can hinder his progress if he purchases lots of grey upgrades in the first place, you should make it so that you can delete upgrades whenever you want to maximise profits

Lastly, the colouration is a bit confusing. I keep thinking the green orbs are more valuable than say, the blue orbs. The player should be able to choose a colour palette that pleases them the most in settings. For me personally I would prefer if there was an option to convey the value of the orb through some colour gradient, like the lowest value would be red, medium value purple, highest value blue, etc.