I was quite surprised by the concept. This is really cool!
I love the text-adventure style, as well as the bit of satire behind it. In that aspect, the RNG plays very well in the game's humor. However, that randomness can be a bit confusing at the beginning. It took me a while to figure out I had to try to jump several times to succeed. Maybe the text could suggest to the player that if they try again, they could make it?
Anyway, that's a really good entry. Congratulation!