I wish "prose" was a category that could be rated, because this would get top marks. Absolutely beautiful and I'm jealous of your writing talent. You clearly have the craft of prose down, and for that, I commend you.
Atmosphere is also top notch, which is important in this type of game because it's basically all we have. Nicely done there.
In terms of the plot and story, I felt it plodded a little bit. After the truly gorgeous (and I can't say it enough) prose, I was left a little disappointed because there wasn't much in the way of memorable characters or a solid foundational narrative. However, I don't think that's too much of a detriment, because the writing really is that strong. It'd be like criticizing a poem for not following the Hero's Journey, and I don't think that's what you were going for here.
There is some solid world building, as well, but I think due to the nature of the jam, it was a little too opaque for my liking, and could have used more fleshing out. I've definitely struggled with being too ambitious with a game jam, so I can relate, and I feel that's what happened with the world you built.
I would eat up a shorter experience from you. Reading your prose is like looking at a painting. Very well done.