Okay, this sounds like you want a few main things:
- Very thorough world-building
- A heroic and inspiring protagonist, not a depressing or helpless one
- No major relationship drama
I suspect some degree of relationship drama is inherent to the Romance genre. 😕 And while there are a couple VNs that have strong protagonists, I cannot think of ANY that have the level of coherent world-building you seem to be looking for. You spent a long time explaining how TToF isn’t like the real world—if that is a problem for you then any kind of fantasy or SciFi will not work at all, and your best option is contemporary stories that are set in the real world.
To that end, I would recommend these:
Ocean Avenue - similar to EA, but the protagonist starts with goals and tries to achieve them
After Years - has no jerks and is low on drama. Kegar is a supportive wingman, and the protagonist does stand up for himself sometimes
You might also like Santa Lucia, but I haven’t played that one in a while so I’m not confident in that recommendation. Another contemporary one with an active protagonist is London’s Aesop, but it has some fantasy elements and is currently on hiatus.
TBH I think you’re more likely to find what you want in contemporary romance novel novels, not furry VNs.