It's no problem! I think the issue was with itch.io a couple days ago. I was in a Discord call with some friends when I was looking at the download button and I went back to ask them if they saw the prompt or not. A couple confirmed that they also didn't get the "No thanks, just take me to the downloads" link. I hope my initial comment didn't come off as too disrespectful or harsh on the possibility that I missed something. I also tend to be hesitant putting my money towards paid services if a demo is under a paywall because I've seen it happen a handful of times; It's not common but happens.
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I looked through your website and saw your blog post with the 4 questions and wanted to do a kinda review/critique and answer some of those as I go. I hope that's ok here!
Also, I got through playing the demo and it's really well written (with no spelling errors which makes me incredibly happy)! The language and format you use is fluid and rich from what I normally read-- which is a good thing! The "tickle my toes and feed me honey and lemons" was one of my favorite lines in the demo for sure. The facial expressions go well with the tone you set. I would maybe add a bit more focus on how you shade characters when you put other characters in the same window that have conflicting light sources (i.e., "elite loiters about fifty paces south of us" scene). The only thing that seems to be really missing is just the highlights on the sprites, which might be why I feel like the gameplay art is a little incomplete. The shading and detail you have for certain scenes in the game (i.e., Iris at the beginning of the game, Iris jumping on the bar, the motion blur while fighting, etc.) are pretty much perfect from where I sit. I would just love to see that quality in the standard sprites. The music and audio you put in kept me focused and I never noticed when the audio cycled. I'm honestly just letting the music cycle while I write this because it never breaks my focus.
Two things that seem really silly to point out are the colored names for Duran and Seth. I'm not sure if it's a personal preference of mine, but assigning the same color to two different characters makes me draw a line between both characters naturally. It's noticeable that the character's name color tends to relate to their appearance and clothing (Seth, Mara, Dust Hunter, Malzahar, Roxi). The only colors that don't align are Duran's red name and Iris's pink name. Maybe that's intentional, but I'm not sure. And the last scene I want to mention is the one with Duran in the desert where you see Seth and the loiters looking at you from afar. When you go immediately from Duran to the group, it felt a little jarring. Maybe if you added simple bodies in the background and then went in for their half-body shots, that would feel a bit more natural to the eye. It's a very small suggestion, but I think that would be helpful in keeping that scene fluid. Maybe adding those sprites might come in handy in future scenes depending on how you envision the end product.
Regarding the Journal, I would love it if the journal could be added to the game menu. That's a big suggestion in offering a feature that I feel is kinda necessary for immersing the player. I also think having a full map of Zalstar in it's respective chapter would be really helpful in showing the player where the places are so they can piece together the geographical and political landscapes visually. You did it in the sections for The Laithen Empire, The Kingdom of Askar, Nohiria, and Jarisii.
The only bug I really found was when I played through it a second time while writing this review/comment. If you've opted to skip unread text while your first playthrough or replay with skippable text and skip to the "He stands up and offers me his hand. I stare at his palm, dumbfounded...", when you scroll back manually, it presents you with a black screen when Seth and Iris are talking about roses. I believe this is solely because it never triggers the transition from Seth's close-up to a half-body shot while sitting down. The text goes so fast that the visuals register when you're skipping and then scrolling back.
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Here's a simple breakdown that I came up with so far based on the demo:
Story: 9 (you have me drawn in-- keep going with it)
Animation: 8 (the shading/highlights need some work, food/drink images need more work to feel more appealing)
Sound: 10 (distinct, runs well, transitions well-- loved it all tbh)
Characters: 9 (it's obvious that the mc, Iris, is developing along with other characters)
Overall: 9 (as long as the art stays consistent, has a bomb soundtrack/sounds, good character flow, I'll be in for the Kickstarter)
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The biggest thing I desire from VNs is character development. Being able to create a fully developed person from the start of the story is my favorite, compared to creators/devs who create a "base" character that doesn't feel like a flushed out person. Creating a character's perspective, values, and beliefs at the start and watching them be challenged and changed is so incredibly intriguing to me as a person and player. The question at the start around "do vermin deserve to live" tells me a lot about both Iris and Seth. So far, you guys have done a good job in giving the mysterious characters a sense of identity and personhood without disclosing too much as to who they are.
Personally, I adore Seth's personality more than the Dust Hunter because he feels a bit more realistic and thorough. The Dust Hunter feels like he's of royalty, or at least of classic power/wealth, but also looks more appealing because of how symmetrical his attire is. I will admit, I really do like his hair. It reminds me of the art from a manhwa called "Villains Are Destined to Die." It's a really charming design choice that I've found more appealing-- which is the only reason I point it out. One character I would love to give more attention to is Malzahar. They look so soft and wholesome. Like a beignet. Maybe it's his demeanor and purple look.. with the rings... and the earrings... but he's attractive to me nonetheless.
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For Kickstarter rewards, I would love to see:
● Digital wallpaper(s) **Also allow for stretched image(s) if possible for 2 screens
● Discord role (heavily recommend having a dev and/or game Discord if you don't already; this post is so long, I'm scared of closing this tab to check, so I'll check in a bit lmao)
>> Something not mentioned much is having Discord emotes that can widely be used on other servers. It can generate attention when people use appealing ones in different communities. It's what I do to branch out games I've backed.
● A (digital) artbook
● Soundtrack
● Mini guide (unless hidden routes are important)
● 1-2 week early access
● Add Garden of Seif: Curse of Gravehollow Peaks (either full-priced or discounted if a bundle is decided)
● (Maybe) Add a DLC (or after-story) if a certain goal is met
● Beta key
*Add-ons are a hit or miss depending on how big of a following you get, so you can offer stickers, pop sockets, pins, etc. that you would see on other projects as ideas.
Honestly, I think I gave this demo a good look over, but I really hope all of this helps. It took me a couple hours. ^^;
But good luck! I can't wait to see what the finished project looks like!