Hi, I don't know which way is best to reach you, but I thought I'd just leave a comment here.
Well I really enjoyed the story you've written, although I have spotted quite a bit of language quirks, grammer and the such, of which I'd love to help you out with!
I'd love to proof-read (looking for and fix gramatical errors, as well as trying to make the reading experience a better flow) for you.
If you're interested, hit me up eg. on discord: Sproxxy#6662.
Thanks for the great story otherwise!