You are a godsend, I did it once by accident, maybe trying to deny I still liked him but this helped me a lot.
For anyone who scrolled down this far to figure out where you went wrong this is it
After you say no to the shower with him before the sex shop like Blideth says. The sequence is yes you like the leather, he should go for the dildo, you'll consider a dildo too, and maybe watch porn with him is the success I saw.
Thank you again Blideth