at what point can you unlock magic attacks? also I'm curious if you go submisive how do you get respect, and is have low respect bad?
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Magic will be unlocked much later, after discovering a certain planet.
You can play submissive and still earn respect points. But I don't recommend it unless you want to play as a dominant bottom.
Having low respect will unlock certain sex scenes and dialogues. And it will change the ending of the game. But it's not bad if you like to be dominated ;)