I have hella THOUGHTS on this VN! THIS WILL DEFINITELY BE INSANELY LONG AND HAVE HELLA SPOILERS SO PLS DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED IT LOL
This is also gonna be a scattered ramble of my incoherent thoughts so APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE I NEED TO SCREAM INTO THE VOID ABOUT MY OPINIONS BC THERE ARE MANY
THIS IS NOT A FORMAL REVIEW IN ANY WAY ITS PURELY A WOMAN SCREAMING WITH FEELINGS
God so Cirrus right? Walking red flag, biggest red flag I've ever seen in my life, but ho boi put me on color correcting glasses because I've never cared LESS about a man being problematic.
Okay I cared a little but it's fiction and I'm safe so it's completely fine
ON THE TOPIC OF SAFE ACTUALLY CAN I JUST GUSH ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE THE AFTERCARE PAGE LOL?
Being able to talk to the MC and also just the checklist variant of the aftercare segment was incredible. I didn't personally need it because none of this content was especially triggering to me personally, but I did have moments where I was genuinely uneasy and I took the time to go to the aftercare corner to take a breath and also see what it was like, two birds with one stone and all that.
"You and me, we're a dream team. Nothing can change that."
BE STILL MY HEART MC I LOVE YOU and it was nice to have that moment of reassurance.
"Also, I'm completely safe. Always was and always will be." MC YOU ARE A LIAR BUT ALSO IT WAS VERY APPRECIATED IN THE MOMENT LOL
Also Cirrus' aftercare segment was a HUGE pleasant surprise! Having the multiple options and seeing how he was willing to fulfill whatever specific need the character had did wonders to ease whatever tension I was feeling from the aftermath of the scene. (I've referenced this feeling twice and I do want to stress that for me, this is a very good thing, I'll touch on it again soon.)
Seeing that he was willing to adapt to the MC's needs (even reluctantly, when asked for space) was so nice, and while I wouldn't call it WHOLESOME It still felt very sweet and did make me feel more secure in that moment.
I loved everything about that scene. The intensity was great, had me in an actual metaphorical chokehold the entire time, the pace was incredible and I actually physically felt that tension to the point I had to tab out and just do something else for a few minutes because I thought I was going to combust.
AGAIN, IN A GOOD WAY LOL I KNOW IT SOUNDS BAD BUT I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT
I enjoy darker content, quite a lot actually, though I understand why it's not very popular and I'm not one to put my own wants above the needs of other people, fantasy is a safe place and I can see why darker themes would be too much for some.
It was nice being able to just indulge in a scene like this though, a story like this, beautifully written and engaging and perfectly paced with the intensity of the narrative. I was completely enthralled.
ON TO WHY IT WAS GOOD THAT I FELT UNEASY BEFORE I FORGET TO TALK ABOUT IT LOL
I'm not a self-inserting kind of person, I love looking at the MC as their own character and looking into their dynamics with the rest of the cast, that's how I get my enjoyment out of the stories I read and the VNs I play. As a result, however, it's pretty hard for me to actually become immersed in a VN. I don't consider this a bad thing, but sometimes it does impede my ability to really grasp the tension of a scene, it's easy to dismiss the conflict when I don't really feel involved, when I don't feel the potential consequences.
That was absolutely not a problem here. When MC was caught eavesdropping I was so STRESSED man I WAS SO WORRIED I WOULD GET THEM KILLED OR IN TROUBLE LOL I SAVESCUMMED SO HARD BECAUSE OF HOW NERVOUS I WAS, CIRRUS HAD ME HOLDING ON TO MY CHAIR FOR DEAR LIFE
And that tension carried beautifully throughout the rest of that punishment sequence, I was physically tense the entire time, to the point that when the aftercare started and I had begun to relax, I could feel the ache in my muscles lmfao but it was such a good experience, it was both thrilling and kind of horrifying, I wish I had better words to describe it
I don't even think I could begin to describe what a rush that realization was, I hadn't even noticed I was so sucked in until that moment. The music contributed to it perfectly by the way, I definitely haven't put enough hype on the soundtrack but MAN does it sell the atmosphere.
So to BRING IT ALL BACK BEFORE I GO OFF ON A TANGENT
Having those moments where I felt uneasy and uncertain was wonderful, It's not often I have the luxury of being immersed like that, so even after closing the game the fact that it still lingered in my mind while I was just going around doing different things was wonderful to me, I love having experiences like that, I love when those experiences sneak up on me and I'm not ready for them to stick as well as they do, and this one has quite thoroughly latched onto me.
ALSO?? THE DIALOGUE OPTIONS?? "YES" "YES" "NO YES" I ALMOST LOST MY MIND LOL FREAKED ME OUT IN THE BEST OF WAYS AND IT HAPPENED TWICE
ALSO x2 It was nice to have an MC that could be receptive to this sort of thing. The options to lean into it and enjoy the punishment were actually very fulfilling, and almost validating in a way? The whole "I didn't take you for a masochist" and "You didn't ask" thing was so nice to see, I'm excited to explore that more and see where it leads.
My fragile little heart wants a happily ever after so damn BAD but I'm so thoroughly ready for the absolute PAIN I KNOW IM GONNA GET PUT THROUGH LOL BOUTTA CALL MY FRIENDS UP ON DISCORD AND MAKE THEM PROVIDE ME EMOTIONAL SUPPORT WHILE I PLAY THESE CHAPTERS
CAUSE I DON'T TRUST THIS MAN EVEN HALF AN INCH BUT HE'S GOT ME UTTERLY HOOKED HOW DID THIS HAPPEN I WAS SO CAUGHT OFF GUARD HOW DARE THEY WRITE SUCH A COMPELLING AND ALLURING CHARACTER ITS SO RUDE
Have I rambled enough about Cirrus yet? I think I lost my train of thought, I WARNED YOU THIS WOULD BE SCATTERED
SO ONWARD TO KEIR! WHO WAS THE FIRST ROUTE I TRIED
I think for future content updates I might save Keir's route for after I finish Cirrus.
I love the dark stress that I get from Cirrus, the tension, the unhealthy dynamic, it's so compelling and alluring.
But, it is still a wee bit stressful, which is not a bad thing at ALL I HAVE TO STRESS THIS VERY HARD I DO LOVE IT A LOT LOL PLEASE DON'T LET THIS COME OFF AS A BAD THING I HOPE IVE MADE MY THIRST CLEAR
While the route with Keir starts off a bit rocky, it very quickly turns into something more comforting for me. This might very well change later on! I have no way of knowing! But so far it does carry a sort of found-family vibe to me, and it was very sweet and GOD THE BANTER IM NOT READY TO GO INTO ALL THAT YET BUT IT WAS SO GOOODDDD
So I think for me personally, in terms of play-order, Keir will go after Cirrus for the sake of my sanity.
SO THE BEGINNING
"Do you trust me?"
NO OFC NOT BUT I HAD TO PICK YES BECAUSE IM A SHITPOSTER LOL
"The fuck?"
I wheEZED SO HARD I CANNOT HIS REACTION WAS SO FUNNY LOL
THEN HE CHASTIZED MC FOR IT AND IT WAS HYSTERICAL
I did go back and pick no because it made the most sense to me, but that was definitely a clue about how much fun I was about to have on his route AND I WAS SO RIGHT I HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME LOL
This route was what cemented this MC as my favorite MC ever btw. I love wit and banter, I've seen it done phenomenally in other games, but absolutely nothing could have prepared me for "You look like a throw pillow fucked a jewelry box"
I sent a screenshot of that line to my friends and absolutely lost my SHIT I was laughing so hard
Griff: It wasn't that funny
me: NO IT WAS ABSOLUTELY THAT FUNNY LOOOL
I'm an absolute gremlin and I'm so proud of it bc that was HILARIOUS
I don't think I've ever laughed so much at an MC before, and the bright wit compared to the completely dark setting for the story is pulled off so damn WELL. It didn't take me out of the story at all, it didn't feel out of place or forced, 10000/10 I love MC
(Also if this part of my rant seems a little more organized and detailed it's bc I'm going back and replaying Keir rn so it's a little more fresh in my mind, which is why I have more direct quotes compared to when I babbled about Cirrus)
AAAA ALSO THE POSES? FOR THE SPRITES? THE DYNAMIC POSES WERE SO GOOD I LOVED SEEING THE CHANGES IN POSITION especially since in VNs we rely so much on facial expression, so being able to convey that much emotion through body language instead to compensate is really clever I feel, and it was done very well the art is beautiful and very eye-catching.
I mentioned it briefly before, but the found-family thing (assuming that's what it is, it might wholly just be my perception, either way I still enjoy the dynamics with everyone) felt incredibly fulfilling. It's clear they're still keeping the MC at a distance, but it was wonderful to see by the end how they began to warm up to them, just a little.
Kind of like a slow-burn but for friendship? I thrive off of that, especially when there was as much emphasis placed on how hard trust is to earn, it felt gratifying to see the change after a difficult job done well and getting to see some of that tension and distrust melt away.
AND! THE! SCENE! AT! THE! END! WITH THE HEADPATS! AND THE SAPPY TALK! AND THE EMOTIONS?!
Keir's route so far feels so emotionally fulfilling and validating while still maintaining that dark and dreary setting from the rest of the story. Thing's aren't bright and happy just because of one good job, but that happy moment felt fuckin EARNED!
Cirrus feels, permit me this NSFW thought, sexually gratifying in a way, though that's something that I imagine is unique to myself and people who have similar tastes. Neither route is comfortable, per se, but they balance each other well and god I'm so EXCITED
TO SEE
WHERE IT GOES
SKDJFVBHJFD I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE WORLD BUILDING AND THE LORE AND I WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS WITH MC?? AND THEIR SICKNESS? WHAT WILL HAPPEN AFTER (IF) THEY GET CURED? DO THEY HAVE TO LEAVE? THE ANTICIPATION WILL KILL ME BUT I WILL WAIT VERY VERY PATIENTLY (or try to)
while also screaming into the void on occasion.
Whew this was definitely very long I'm so sorry I screamed so much lmfao I just had a lot of feelings and WANTED TO PUT THEM SOMEWHERE
TLDR I think this is a beautiful, wonderfully concocted story aND IT WAS ONLY ONE CHAPTER THATS INSANE TO ME, both of the characters are so appealing and intriguing and I JUST KNOW IM GONNA GET HURT BUT ILL HAVE TISSUES AND ICE CREAM AT THE READY
now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go write some NSFW Cirrus fics to cure the brainrot going on in my head THANK YOU FOR INDULGING MY SCREAMING HAVE A NICE DAY EVERYONE