Very good writing, good subject and story, I was hooked from the beginning, and I really like that racism is a big part of the story, because it has to be discussed and to be reminded constantly of. BUT: first, the author didn’t consider MC of color, the story just doesn’t acknowledge it. If you wanted to go for an experience of non poc with racism, then it doesn’t make sense for darker skin options for MCs. And second thing, I had no idea Velia is black until I read the comments and I just thought that she’s just really really afraid of cops, bc the whole scene didn’t make sense to me, at first. But at the end I truly like it. The premise is good and I’m excited where the story take me.
Viewing post in The Murder of Devon Whicker comments
I’ve definitely taken into account Mc’s of color into the future update and I plan to go back and add coding scenes specifically for that! As a black author it’s important that the customization affects the story this was just a quick demo that will def have major changes in the future, and when you first meet Velia her locs are described which was how I was showing the reader she was black but it’s easy to miss so I’ll most likely add more detail in!