There is nothing on that page that could possibly convince me to spend money on your game. There's only a quick story summary (not bad, but way too short to generate interest) and instructions for playing (completely out of place, you need to convince me to buy the game before you tell me how to play, and there had better be instructions inside the actual game). In order to convince me to buy the game, you would need to do all of the following:
- Give me some sort of idea of what kind of game I would be buying. You don't even mention the genre of the game; pretty much all I know is that it's not an abstract puzzle game or a visual novel.
- Related to the above: demonstrate that the game appeals to my personal taste.
- Demonstrate that this game, unlike the bottom 90%-99% of games on itch, isn't ugly unplayable crap. I've actually gone through some of the big bundles on itch and
playedtried to play a good portion of the games, and a good 90% of them I uninstalled almost immediately after seeing what I was actually getting. A good 50% didn't even run at all on my computer. - Demonstrate that this game has enough substance that it's worth 5€ to me. You would think that that's a low barrier to pass, but the indie game scene is full of mini games with less substance than you can get for a single quarter in an arcade.
- Have a Linux version. When working my way through those big bundles, I just skipped everything that didn't have a native Linux version. It's not that I can't run Windows games, I just needed a way to cut those bundles down to a halfway manageable size, and skipping Windows-only games was a quick and easy way to do that. I've found that this works just as well for cutting down on the vast number of new releases on itch.