Ignore my question, I'm an idiot.
... So I played the chapters 5 and 6 now... And I think I'm not gonna cry, but I'm not sure, so I'll just say: people out there, if you trip and fall on your journey promise me that at some point you will try to get up: things will get better.
Suicide is a radical solution to a temporary problem. I have myself thought about ending my life from 4 years ago to about 1,5 year ago, and ended up convincing myself to not do so because my reasons were stupid. I do not recommend that technique because it require your reasons to indeed be stupid, and if you are contemplating suicide I trust your judgement, but please talk about it to somebody, and find a fuel for your will to live, as petty as it is. Even to spite someone is a valid reason to stay.
You will be missed if you choose to do it, but you already know that.
Take care.