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Love the writing style -- great descriptions, good visuals. I wonder if you might have been able to build up the tension/fear/something around Korsakoff Proxima a bit more? It was almost a bit anticlimactic at the end. But as I said, solid writing. Well done!

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Thanks for  the kind words- I was fighting the 1k word limit really hard. A weapon that kills consciousness is pretty high concept, and I should have tied her/it into that more obviously.