Some fantastic squick, especially the part where the esophagus comes out the guy's mouth. The story is smart, and I like the working-class protagonist and the intrigue. But I really feel like this wants to be a short story and not a game--there's no branching, it's written in prose and not dialogue, there's a lot of big blocks of text, and there's a relatively small amount of art. If it was just presented as a short story, all these things would be strengths rather than weak points.
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That's fair, tho this is actually a fairly well-known genre of visual novel. It's mainly known of in the west via the When They Cry series of Higurashi and Umineko but there's plenty of others that use the same format. The specfic term for a VN with no choices is "kinetic novel" in most western circles? but a kinetic novel is also a visual novel. Or a sound novel, sometimes, though also a visual novel. The argument being that bgm, background and music are used in the same way videogames use them to enhance a story.