Intriguing premise, but the grammar and sentence structure ruin it. I couldn't go five minutes without seeing a mistake of some sort in your writing. Fix that, and maybe it'll be better.
It's okay! It helped me fix some of the grammar. I want to improve my English writing skills, but Portuguese is way different, it might take some time to understand how to better structure sentences, and the way commas work as I know they differ from how we use them here in Brazil, but I'll give it my best!