This was a lot to take in. I feel like you'd be better off enjoying Penny for Your Thoughts than any of my other work, despite it being rather limited to just a prologue. Cassian is a much more confident and stoic man than any of my other characters.
In defense of my other male characters, you're missing a lot in the scenes you've pointed out. Daelyn is more observant and socially aware than most other people. His 'fascination' with Kyrsi's fabric was levity to release tension from the stressful situation. It worked temporarily, and jolted her out of the shocked state she was in from the ordeal. At the end of content for The Time Collector in A Petal Among Thorns, his demeanor changes significantly as the situation becomes more serious. He takes command, orders his scout to the planet, and prepares the girls for the journey. Being masculine doesn't mean always being a machine, emotionlessly treading through every situation like a dead-eyed robot.
Byron had an exceptionally difficult childhood, and leaned into humor to cope with the world. Chester is a family man, he's simple but loving. The Swordsman from Myrabelle is playful and flirtatious, but determined and unrelenting in the face of hardship. None of them do the right thing all the time, but none of them are beta soyboys either. Just because they're not all punching their way through every single challenge doesn't mean they're not masculine in the ways that truly count.
I don't write Gigachads. You'll have to go somewhere else for that.