Warning: Unsolicited advice and possibly bad opinions, feel free to ignore.
Having read the latest update, the events of the first build make a little more sense now. I think it would be beneficial to make it much clearer, much sooner, that the characters have many feral instincts. When first reading a new furry work, you never know where the world lies on the people-animal spectrum, so knowing that upfront can contextualize a lot of the story.
Writing sexual abuse is always difficult, as you don't want to shy away from the reality of the situation, but going into too much detail (or the wrong detail) can make it come across as erotica. The second instance of the bullying (where they took the pictures) is written in a way that it's clear we're meant to sympathize with Gwin and be disgusted by the bullies. Even though there were sexual undertones to the abuse, the writing itself did not feel sexualized. But the first instance of the bullying just... really misses the mark, tonally.
The nature of Gwin's bullying could very easily be seen as pornographic and sort of exploitative, especially considering all the detail the narration went into about the sensations Gwin felt during it. It's a very polarizing scene to have barely 5 minutes into a story, and it made me highly question the author's intentions. If it were made clearer that it was a feral, domination thing as opposed to a purely sexual act, I think readers would be much less likely to view it as fetishizing abuse. But as it's currently written, I think it comes dangerously close.
To recap: toning down the descriptions of the physical sensations and focusing more on Gwin's feelings in the moment would make that scene feel less questionable, and making the characters' feral nature evident sooner would help contextualize both the bullying and the rest of the story going forward. This build was much better than the first, and I'm curious to see where the story will go moving forward. It's just a shame the game opens on such an off-putting note.