AAAA hello hello it's the next day and i do have more to say about act 1 actually turns out i am a liar lol
so thinking on everything that happened now, it sure snowballed into a shitshow, and that's all thanks to the terrible communication skills that this group of 5 have. and that was never more apparent to me than when iggy concluded that the others would've led better lives if he had never existed to them. and to me that speaks how he stayed self absorbed and self centered to the very end.
maybe that sounds surprising or weird that i came to this conclusion but truly! that's so amazingly small minded assuming that his presence in their lives was so damaging that they would be better off without him. when it's so apparent that the others had their issues before and without him there, so it's just his self-loathing and guilt (and probably blood loss) thats talking
as someone whose asexual, neurodivergent and also, absolutely terrible at keeping in touch with people in my life i see a lot of myself in iggy. and tbh it's not a pretty picture LOL. it's uncomfortable to see my flaws reflected out at me so starkly. when you're so stuck in the rut of your life, you've got your baggage and your mess and it's easier to shut your mouth and just not talk to people you care about because it's been too long, or you're all too busy to make plans, or you can't bring yourself to take initiative to meet up etc etc all these excuses because of reasons that are too complicated to untangle and you're too deep to break the cycle
i felt that.
but im not here to dunk on iggy (not entirely smh) my point was, that's just the mental illness talking lol. iggy is not the worst thing that ever happened to his friends and the further i go into the game im assuming he's going to come to understand that himself. sure, some of the things he had done were not great, and were even downright harmful, but his choices are not more or less worse than anything that the others have done themselves. iggy may have turned a blind eye to genzous horrible treatment of orlam but iggy isn't at fault for genzou's shitty behavior itself, and bucks being unhappy in her marriage has nothing to do with iggy even when iggy convinced her to go through with the wedding.
they've all hurt each other i bet, there's no one singular cause. i just wonder how they're all gonna get past this lmao