Also I don't understand why the little fella (Map friend) is try to say that you were supposed to die
Probably Survivors Guilt
Heres my understanding of it:
say you're at a nightclub and tragically a dude comes in with a gun and kills (almost) everyone except you. in that club, your friend dies. there is a phenomenon where people feel as if "it should have been them" instead of your friend, and it leaves people with horrible "guilt" that everyone died but they didnt.
btw this may be wrong in some places because this is my interpretation of it so feel free to correct me.