It's an interesting concept, with a ton of potential, all except for the writing. The writing needs to get thrown onto life support desperately. No I'm not trying to take a 'dump' on whoever is responsible for the written story. I'm just saying, the grammar and phrasing, need to be elevated to a level above 6th grade. Especially if you're going to be asking money for this.
Again, I'm not trying to be insulting or anything of the sort. It's a strong effort. Having dabbled in Python, Perl and etc myself, I have a good idea of the work and time required to put one of these stories together, it's not such a simple task even for seasoned programmers, just methodical and mentally exhausting. Specially if you're putting a story together on your own (I don't know if that's the case here or not). So I can easily praise the technical aspect of the work. Just that yeh, even on the more central characters of the story, the writing and phrasing left alot to be desired.
Bottom line, I still managed to enjoy it. I hope my criticism is taken positively. I still would like to say thank you for the entertainment and I hope my comment will bare fruit in perhaps your next VN.
Peace.
Fmj.
*edit*
Forgot to mention I've only played the first 4 chapters so far. But for encouragement, I will head out to Steam and grab the entire work anyhow and see if perhaps I was just blabbering out of my a**. ;)
After all, I'm still curious to see which direction the story is intended to take. Also after my above 'critique', I can now move into it with a less critical eye.
*Final edit*
So, finally I've finished the second half of the game, and indeed the writing improves decently in chapters 5-8. I'm happy I got the full VN. No regrets!
As far as the game story itself is concerned, I give this game a 4/5 stars. I like the characters, the different story plots. But MOST of all, I really respect the fact that a strong amount of restraint was exhibited where the lewd scenes are concerned. Not over done and not done in a way that ruins the uniqueness of the story. Also, I really loved the Cameos presented, IE: Jaye from "Chasing sunsets" and some others I forget. And I noticed the same in CS referring to when Jaye gets to meet Lexi, very cool!