Don't do it its not worth and don't even try of doing it, i know that i don't know what you are going thru right now and i don't know what it's like and your life is precious i know that its hard but you life will turn around to brighter side in the end that will make you feel better .
sorry i'm not very good at support or even proper grammar, i'm still learning about english but i hope i mannage to help somehow.