Hello everyone, a quick update.
I'm leaving. I'm leaving this fucked, useless, abusive community. Specifically the guilded side of things.
I can't handle constantly being invalidated and belittled by everyone... lately I've just had a sense of hopelessness. Hell, the other day when I got home from school, i walked into my parents room and looked at my dad's shotgun on the wall and thought "what if..."
I can't take this... I shouldn't have to take this. I've done so much to help, to try and make things right, but all I get in return is hatred and malice.
Lucis a manipulative lying prick who's an abusive asshole to me all the time, but act nice to try and keep me from keeping them banned on the main ctp server. My mental health would be much more improved if they never stepped into my life after the first server was deleted.
And Tak just started belittling and mocking me, I don't even know why they started to hate me all of a sudden... but it hurt me, I've cried to him and eeggee... and he still did this too me. "Things would've been better off without me".. ok.
Eidk, you're annoying, you're horny, and you wanna fuck cheese. You're a freak and I hate you. You called me a faggot for trying to stop you and aetrul for arguing. But you'll NEVER be as bad as luci.
Sains, I'm sorry. No matter how hard I try to help others, or even myself... the truth is I'm NOT good enough, and I'll never be good enough. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine... hopefully. Just try to keep calm ok?
Radical, you're a really good guy, sure you can be random and I find it annoying, and that one time that you uh... faked, yaknow... but you've improved, you're a great guy and a great friend!
Cheese, you're literally one of the most sane ctp members EVER. I love ya (platonically!!!!) And i hope that life is great for you bud.
EEGGEE, you're also a sane one. You can be a bit stuck up when it comes to Ruby. you were an absolute asshole back in the day, but you've changed, you're a great person. Some one I can always cry to (which is often...) and I'll keep in touch with you.
Borb, you probably won't see this but what the hell. You're an asshole, no if ands or buts. However you aren't the worst, you've became better as time went on, and I appreciate that you've tried to better yourself...
Just a note, I'm NOT killing myself! I'm just gonna leave the community. Will I be back? Maybe? But, this place... no, these people are just not good for my health.
Please, don't stop being happy and don't stop being you, and I'm deeply sorry that I've failed you guys, I guess ruining everything I touch just follows me everywhere...
Bye.
