This is a great demo! You're really starting off strong. The characters, the world building, and the plot are all solid. The art style is also quite charming.
My main critique would be to focus on improving sentence structure. Spelling and grammar were all good, but some sentences didn't read very well. Working with an editor really helps! From one writer to another, working with editors is sooo important (that's why I work with two 😅).
I'm looking forward to seeing this project as it grows and develops. Keep up the great work 😸.