This makes think of the principles of Bertolt Brecht's theory of "Epic Theater", applied to interactive media, particularly in terms of the switch of person-hood in narration, and the "episodic" structure of events. I don't know if this was your intention, but you may enjoy studying a bit of Brecht's narrative techniques and see how they work in interactive media, and perhaps more importantly, what impact they have on an audience that is accustomed to dramatic immersion (video game fans). I know it is a work in progress, but you already managed to make me engage with the story intellectually, more than emotionally. Really curious to see how this evolves!