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is working at the gym has its risks…, bugged/glitched? I have literally spent an entire real-life day trying to get it to appear, or am I just unlucky and am not hitting a really low percentage number?

It might be! You already have the MREA badge that makes all events riskier, right? 

We're implementing a button in the Options menu that just turns risk events to Always On, because we desire to waste less of everyones' remaining lifetimes 

yes, I have all the items. I spent all day from 7:42a.m. until just now at 7:53p.M. clicking away in the gym on my phone and got nothing.