@ermllmre yep, nail on the head dood. i gotta long fucked up tale of woe i could spew on this subject.... but id rather not peek into the rabbit hole. would prefer to just keep on distracting myself with something positive, a difficult as that may be, by nature im a happy person... trying to keep it that way. even in the most trying of times.... woooo... go team...!
*sigh*