It's good you took a minute to think about it and admit to yourself you suffer with it, my job outside of developing things has involved working around mental health, so it's something I can fully understand, in more ways than one.
Sometimes a break away when feeling that way, can help, but I do agree on the basis of not wanting to be medicated for it, to become numb to things, I personally wouldn't either.
If you would ever like to talk, my dm is always open(I'm on your server, so easy to find).
Keep your head up :)