Soooo... i gave birth past my due date this week.. well last week seeing as it's monday morning in the AMs writing this. Rushed into the hospital with my first. After a failed natural birth, a failed assisted extraction.. rushed into surgery for a c section. I was exhausted and out of it and woke up to my husband telling me our daughter had stopped breathing for 15 minutes. I think my heart stopped right there. And that wasn't even the only complication.
They managed to resuscitate her but now we are in the unknowns..
What was the damage..?
How severe is it?
How will it affect her?
How will it present itself?
Is she gonna suffer..?
And why the fuck wasn't I.. her mother just able to bring her into the world normally.. safely.. I failed..
She's currently in a neonatal icu ward and I can hopefully bring her home soon. And she is the most beautiful thing in my whole existence and I still feel like I completely just fucked up the one job I had..
This story made Me cry and not feel so alone.. thank you.. I haven't actually cried since I left the hospital.