Buzz cut ending too, I just...something smelled right when that choice came up. You did an amazing job at capturing that seething feeling of being trapped under a spotlight and being expected to explain yourself. To fit their ideas, to be one of the 'good ones'.
It just hits hard and hits close, I still claw at the rarified feminine idea but sometimes I rage and hit and spit at it, at the daft pile of performative rubble I'm supposed to climb. When my resolve breaks and I'm shaving my legs at midnight because it's going to be hot the next day and as much as I think that entire exercise is pure fucking bullshit, I can't stand the thought of carrying that masculine signal with me. Trying to negotiate my existence between the 'bite me' feminist who could burn it down and the 'headpats please' trans girl who just wants to be.
This is, this is way, way too real. This is amazing. Thank you.