I love the game so much I've gone back and played it several times. I have a few things I noticed on second playthrough and one is, at the beginning you say "waitress" for the person who lets us into the first meeting with Snare. I think that's the incorrect word to use. I think a correct one would be "attendant." Waitress is basically only used at restaurants.
Also, I have to admit, I played now several times and I'm still unsure which route is the good one. I think, based on comments from others, that there must be a good route where you don't die in the demo. And after thinking about it --spoiler--but I think it's the one where they say she is asleep now.
But, if I'm correct, I have to say that I didn't understand that route because Vincenzo talks to Edel and he mentions how everyone wants him to settle down but Vincenzo responds that it was a shame he COULDN'T do that. And that past tense really confused me. They talk in coded language sometimes so I thought when I first got that route that meant when they said she was asleep that was code for "she is dead."
So, I thought that route was still one where she died. But, on more playthroughs I think actually maybe that was the good route and she didn't die.
But, I kind of recommend maybe changing the word "couldn't" to can't. I think that would clear up that Vincenzo is saying that she's still alive but that he has no intention of marrying her. If that's the case.
Awesome story though!