Hey there, I just played your game, usually I'm not one for games with a male protagonist (If it is not BL), but I saw you on Twitter and got interested, so here are my thoughts:
The music is wonderful, it gives a nice atmosphere to the different scenarios! Also I really loved some of the backgrounds too!
But:
There are many, many writing errors, (Just to mention one right in the beginning, you wrote "I wish you was here" which should be "I wish you were here") so you should definitely let somebody else read over it again and correct those.
It can happen that we don't see our own mistakes when writing, that is why it is essential to have at least one other person proofread (which should in that case be native english), don't let it bring you down, it happens to all of us. I have read that you have been working on this project all alone, and I think that is impressive. Keep up the good work, and I'm curious to know how this story will end.