Hello and welcome to Feedback Quest - Visual Novels! This is Hythrain, reporting live with my feedback!
The visuals for this piece messed with me a bit, which I enjoyed. They felt disturbing yet welcoming. I do want to see more.
Beyond that, however, it's obviously very short, doesn't have any real choice impact nor any puzzles or logic to work through. It also lacks for music, which I hope a longer version will correct. The story going on is enough to get on the board, but it for sure needs more. I hope you plan on doing more with this.