I come to you writing this as a forever-change giant Ügre. I awoke on another Monday morning in this ravaged wasteland known as Earth, and of course, I had yet another job from HQ that I must complete today—gotta love the old nine-to-five. I loaded up a few snacks and some fresh deo, and I hit the road to the pickup location.
That is where I first met Michael, a tiny human actor who was just another so-called “important person” I was hired to carry across the country. Typically, this is just a job for me, a way to collect my hourly wage. And the “important people” I normally transport are usually hifalutin folk, the types of chumps who won’t giggle at you when you awake them with your wonderful whoopie cushion. But no, dare I say, not Mr. Cera. He is a pleasant gentleman who will happily play endless mad libs, eat banana after banana after banana, and take a long snooze until you both reach the Big Apple—a truly delightful road companion.
At the end of my journey with Mr. Cera, we parted ways. He ventured deep into the city of New York, and I made my long and lonesome walk back to LA. I sure hope I kept you happy, healthy, and entertained, my good friend. While walking alone on the deserted roads back home, memories of Mr. Cera bidding me farewell and waving goodbye on the bridge flooded my mind. I can't help but ponder if I'll ever cross paths with my dear Michael Cera again. A giant can only dream.