**I am going to give some advice on storytelling & give some advice for things that could be improved… But before I do, I just wanna say..
Do what you need to do, your health is your highest priority & you shouldn’t delay anything to do with it because of that.** (don’t delay your health, both physical & mental I mean… and trust me, & know where you are coming from.. I’m sitting here working on a RPG Maker game & I’m barely working on it due to burnout. x3c)
Anyway, now that I got that out of the way.. Here is my advice & some stuff that could be improved & the ideas that stick. (Bear in mind that I’m not a professional writer or am I going to do anything to make you feel bad. These are just my opinions and my advice based on what I’ve learned. Keep Writing & Keep Improving.)
1. I feel like the protag trusts Ritch a bit too easily.. There needs to be some moment where they learn to trust them. Just like in Far Beyond the World. After-all, if you saw a Anthro standing before you, you would freak out and it would take a bit of time for you to get comfortable near them… This is will help get people more immersed in the world you are building.
(yeah yeah, I know using another VN is a bit rude. But I’m not comparing them or trying to say “haha, this game is better, give up”. I’m using that game as an example, and I really want you to go for whatever you want to achieve in life.)
2. The idea of getting stranded on a island works, it leads to questions, which is good for people to get more invested. Leading to theories & blah blah blah.
3. The second I heard the meme music, I instantly started laughed & the immersion died. My tip is, avoid music as much as you can. use ambient sounds instead unless you can find/commission a song that matches the theme.
**4. I feel like you should keep the character number low to begin with, ‘cause adding a lot can make it so you don’t wanna work. Slowly add up the characters overtime & don’t rush yourself on your projects, if you need a break take one.
Projects take a long time, & sometimes can be stressful, boring cause the spark vanished, etc. But, take breaks. Do something else than work every now & again so you aren’t burning yourself out so fast.** (trust me, i once wrote 14 stories in the span of a week)
**If anybody has any advice, comment it here. & with that I wish you well on your future projects & in life <3 **
(Yes im willing to help if you need it, i dont have anything better to do anyway, + its less work on your shoulders, haha ((Free of charge of course x3c))) ~SpeedySnack