Oh my god, I laughed so hard I fell right off my bed playing this. That was absolutely hilarious. My only question is: WHAT DID HAWK DO!?! How did his writing go so awry!? Lore isn't needed, but I HAVE to know what happened.
Also... :P You're right. This took me maybe five minutes to play, whereas mine took me over an hour with each... playthrough... to test...
Good job. I needed something really amusing today. Thank you. :)