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skd5 years ago(+1)

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I wish that there was a "restart" button like you mentioned so you don't have to close out of it and stuff. I still don't get 100% of the story atm (I'm gonna continue playing it), but I really like it. 

The few notes I'd like to add are:

  • Add a small little optional trigger warning thing at the beginning of the game. I know some games have that, where the title screen thing has "start" and "show triggers", so that if you want you can see the trigger warnings ahead of time. 
  • Add a restart function, yeah, but also a "back" button so that you can kinda run through some of the other choices without having to do the whole thing again. Just a small little thing!
  • Make it more clear what your options mean. The biggest example I can give is on the date, where "hang up" seems to be like, end the date, whereas "pay" seems to have it so you continue the relationship? idk if I'm just confused about that or whatever.  

But in any case, I really like it!!!! I'll be honest, I was kinda searching through the submissions for a game like this where it's a little more narratively focused and where there is some form of queer stuff. I'd really love to see more things like this in the future; your writing style seems very real and like, accurate to the emotions and stuff. 

I'm gonna play through this a few times again, and hopefully come across a happy ending or two, if they're there.

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chloe spears5 years ago

<3!!

thank you so much for the feedback! I'm glad I made the kind of game you were looking for.

in response to yr notes:

  • will consider for a post-jam version! personally I'm more of a fan of cw/tw outside of the actual bounds of the work (which is why I put it on the game page—well, that and time pressure) but I definitely see the argument for something inline.
  • the lack of a back button is intentional. twine actually has one by default that I disabled, mainly to prevent people who play adventure/IF/choice games in the same way I do—what ian danskin would call futzers—from taking themselves out of the story by second-guessing their choices. (it's also probably a hold-over from all the parser IF I played as a kid, in that I like the idea of there being a lot of options you're not taking...but I admit that's a little silly in a game like this where the branches are this directly laid out.) for the post-jam version I'll try to figure out a way to re-enable the back button on a second playthrough, or something in a similar vein, because I do feel like the permanent choices are a part of the experience, but I also definitely don't want to bug people who have had the experience and now just want to see the other branches.
  • yeah, that was really tough to convey through the writing without making it too obviously game-y. (thank you for letting me know that the date in particular is a problem spot!) I tried to put a direct reference to at least one of the options near the end of most of the vignettes, and explain what the option meant in the "bridge quote" between one vignette and another, but some of them are still too ambiguous and need to be revised. (same goes for the therapist scene, for example.)

    (to your question, though: HANG UP means hanging up on Will, and PAY means paying for your half of dinner and leaving.)

again though, thank you for the comment! it really means a lot.

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skd5 years ago

Wait, okay, so that's what I thought originally, maybe I'm just confused about the story?

If you do "Hang up", you go to the scene with your therapist, but if you do "Pay", you go to the scene at the baseball field with the character's girlfriend. 

Is this girlfriend a different person? Did paying for the dinner and leaving somehow make the relationship work while hanging up and continuing the date didn't? Am I just being a total dingus and missing something obvious?

Sorry for the billion questions >_<

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chloe spears5 years ago(+1)

it's okay! I don't mind talking about the game.

to yr question: they're different women. different names. I totally get the confusion, though; I've just realized that the main HANG UP branch is ambiguous in several places, potentially suggesting a chronology (e.g. all hang ups ends up going therapy -> meds) but the whole game's intended to be non-chronological vignettes tied together with the ending line of one being the starting line of the other. sort of stream-of-consciousness flashes of "your" life, adding up to an impression. more obvious in the main PAY branch! another thing to improve post-jam.

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