I'm not much of a reader, but I think your goal to grow the story out of itself was accomplished. My feedback was going to be based around "being more like Twine," but your page statement has directed me elsewhere.
I think the story would be more approachable to me if I had a way to adjust indentation or mark sections that I've read already. It's easy to get lost as is.
Music was great touch that not a lot of story games use. Very nice!