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I thought it was just a cute VN.

Some routes are even cute.

But jesus christ, the author has been hurt by someone.

p.s. The entire Torulf route and bar ending are genuinely horrifying. Or maybe they are only horrifying to me because something like that happened to me. Being taken advantage of and abused while you're helplessly dying inside is no fun and I'm still shaken a whole day after playing that route because it put me back in that mindspace of being cynically used. 

Someone nice doesn't equal someone good, kids. Stick to your own age pool when dating.

Man. I've gone from a Lieutenant to a monkey living in Germany when I hardly know English or German. I haven't even seen my girlfriend in two years. I'm hoping that god doesn't allow me to wind up like this fellow, but chances are, if I'm on here, I don't really have much hope anyway

Deleted 337 days ago
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That’s true, but things aren’t easy to get by when you’re Russian and you’re associated with the military. Most understand that I left long before the current conflict, but some still desperately try to inflate their fragile ego by insulting others. But, I can’t complain; Britain and Germany are by far the best countries that were available, and I managed to get in a good one. If I ended up in Georgia or America, It’d be pretty damn hard to make do.

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What happens in that ending ? Can you tell me? Because i already saw it but i don't understand it

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tldr is under the spoiler









TL;DR: It's basically the rape route. Just because Arvo does it all willingly doesn't make it better - he was taken advantage of and manipulated into those actions.

Torulf spent his youth working and making money, then realized he lost something he will never be able to get back - the excitement of exploring his sexuality in that tender age he left behind.

So now he's compensating himself by stealing that experience from young trusting boys. He is nice, and gentle, and generous, but this is just a way to lure people like Lake and Arvo into doing something they don't really want to. They want to be seen, and felt, and loved, but he's substituting it for lust and keeping them at a hand's length, never truly giving them what they want, making them suffer, while having all the fun he wants with them.

Mikko sees right through Torulf, because he is mentally more developed and experienced than Arvo and Lake combined - he had his heart crushed before, he's been in a relationship, and no doubt he had people hit on him only being interested in some action. He quickly figured out Torulf doesn't need anything more than  leeching love and adoration from the boys who don't know any better.

At the moment of the bar scene, Arvo is in love with Torulf, and Lake hates himself and is afraid to be alone again. 

Lake came to terms with his situation, persuading himself this is the best he can do, content to be Torulf's fucktoy, but he recognizes the situation Arvo is in, since he's been there himself not so long ago. Arvo thinks he is in a relationship with Torulf, but he is just a toy. 

Lake feels horrible for Arvo and wishes he could explain it all, but he doesn't have the strength, he is afraid to lose what little good grace he has with Torulf, so he just sits there, watching Arvo dying inside, feeling like shit about it. Meanwhile Arvo doesn't understand why Torulf is openly hitting on Lake in front of him, driving home the point that having Arvo isn't enough for Torulf, that what they had meant nothing to him. Arvo is dying a thousand deaths in that bar scene and so is Lake. All while Torulf is having the time of his life, playing with two cute boys who can't say no to him.

Torulf route could be even more on the nose only if he actually raped Lake and Arvo, but there was never any need for that, he poisoned them with adoration for him, tied them to himself in a way no rope ever could, and now does whatever he wants with their bodies. This is vile and truly horrifying in how manipulative and cynical it is. 

Having been in this situation myself, I must say it was described almost beat by beat how I experienced it, though in real life there was more time between events. Going through the experience Lake and Arvo did feels like becoming dirty  under your skin, dirty in a way you will never be able to wash off. I heard actual rape victims describe their experience this way and I'm not surprised.

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ok thanks for explain it.

But i have others doubts about that ending. like what is the meaning of the scene when Arvo was with Torulf in the flower field and Torulf last words were "praise"?

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The flower field means nothing on its own, it's just a dreamy background, and any symbolism you might find in it would be forced, it's just artistic choice and nothing more. 

Praise is what Torulf wants - he didn't get enough love when he was younger and now he feels like the world owes him all the love he can get his paws on, no matter who gets hurt in the process, since in his eyes, its his to take, with nothing owed in return. He wants, he NEEDS for people to want him, to crave him, to love him.

Torulf is a horrible person who hurt himself in his shallowness, and is now trying to drown his own fear of coming to terms with his reality by piling young bodies on it.

BTW, this is pure assumption, but since the author has been so thorough when writing Torulf, I imagine I can make it. Torulf is coming on to Arvo so hard precisely because Mikko rebuffed him. You can' imagine how hard it hurts people like him when someone doesn't want them, it's a knife wound on their world - someone dares to keep from him what he deserves, something that he imagines he owns, and there's nothing he can do about it. So of course he rushed to put another body onto the pile and fuck Arvo - he needed to distract himself from the defeat.