I'm not really familiar with the original story, so this pseudo-review really is just based on my own opinion. *Kinda* spoilery, since I'm going to say my opinion on the ending.
I really like that you guys are obviously trying to make something different. Most visual novels seem to do the same things, but I do like how you guys present your story visually. I might not be the biggest fan of the art style, but overall I really like the creativity and it just feels different to most of the visual novels I've played so far, which all seem so cookie cutter and don't really try to play with the visuals of the medium. It makes me interested in what you guys will make in the future. Also, I was *really* intrigued to see where the story was going to go! It had a really interesting set up.
***spoilery part about ending***
My main problem with the story is that it didn't really seem to go anywhere and ended very abruptly, like it all didn't buildup anything after so much buildup. I understand and am intrigued by the themes of rather it is good to go 100% scientific and to completely forgo superstitions if it's right there in front of you, but the story kind of tells you this theme in the first 10 minutes in the framing device, (which the story seems to completely drop), and then doesn't really add anything to that. So by the end, I kind've just felt like I didn't get anything out of it that wasn't said since the beginning of the story. I really wanted to see where the relationship between the two main characters were going to go, too. Not just in a romantic sense, but I felt like there could be some interesting themes explored through their relationship, especially with the previous themes set up. I feel like there was some lost opportunity there. I really enjoyed what I read for the most part, but felt kind of blue-balled in the end with no additional meaning taken that I couldn't have garnered from the first 10 minutes. Maybe this is just how the original story is written, though, to be fair.
I hope this review doesn't come off as too harsh. I really like the creativity at display here and was really interested in the story and premise, I just personally didn't like the ending, but that is only my opinion. There's so much potential here that I really am looking forward to seeing what you guys make in the future!