As someone who's read a bunch of IFs on COG and Itch I can definitely say that this story is not really polished. Too much purple prose and made up words, too many characters and too many romance interests.
The intro was decent but it didn't have the thrill or excitement, hell I wasn't even aware what the mission was and what the stakes are, world building is zero, is this a middle aged fantasy world? but then why are the characters in the portraits wearing modern clothes?
Chapter 1 was very bland and boring, especially the useless side quest of finding a dog, there was no thrill or urgency in the pacing, the pacing is really slow.
The writing tries to be edgy in the explicit torture scene but was pretty unclear on what was happening, too many made up unexplained words. Is this suppose to be a revenge story? a romance story? a character driven emotional story? I don't know, but I felt bored the entire time unlike the other IFs I've read.