I'll say that xour VN certainly has potential 😌 but in my honest opinion, it still requires a lot of work.
There are a few really nice scenes where I found myself genuinely enjoying it 😋 but most of the time, the story feels directionless and chaotic.
It was particularly hard to get into until Callum went to the store, but shortly after returning home, we reverted to that the same erratic writing that I struggled to follow 😅
My best advice, as 1ne writer to another, is to map out the story. Every1ne has a different way of writing, so xou just need to find what works for xou! 😁 Perhaps organising plotlines, direction, scenes and characters is all xou need to help better portray xour story 🙂