To the author, after reading your Patreon post, if your crashes come back and it isn't because the CPU is going massively out of spec temperature-wise, try running a RAM test overnight. And reseat everything.
Yep, it was definitely voltage-related, I was still having stability issues until I upped the LLC. It's a GIGABYTE motherboard and unfortunately, those guys are always so far behind on firmware. Should've trusted my gut and gone with MSI as they're my favorite motherboard manufacturers.
But, no, the PSU is a Be Quiet! Straight Power 11 1200W lol. We can probably rule out the inadequate power supply.
Thanks for the advice!